Becoming One
by sakimidare
Summary: Latvia has never been in control of the things he sets in motion, and that proven fact is proven once again when he goes into Suicidal mode. CRACKFIC, NOT YAOI! And I officially hate summaries! AN ONESHOT!


**Becoming One**

**Summary: Another chaos-filled Day in the World Meeting, where Latvia speaks his mind once again. Crackfic.**

**Dated: 26th November, 2010**

**A/N: Yes, I came out of my self-proclaimed hibernation and stole (literally) Dad's lappie to '.! Yep, when I stay out-of-work, my mind begins to spew up Plot Bunnies. Thanks to my being banned from the PC, my new diary of 2011 is already half-full, so I decided to post the one-shots because frankly, its killing me to just put things off. Never been one for that.**

**Uh..and none of my Multi-chaps get updated 'cos Dad will be back soon and he would positively kill me if he sees me still using it. I apparently am, besides lousy at writing and a procastrinator, a terrible slacker who daydreams in class. Apparently my getting straight A's don't please 'em unless I work for it. Which I do. In the last week before the exams, but I honestly do. And I hate that freakin' HUGE syllabus! And I'm being bitchy and rambly so I'll shut up. **

**BECOMING ONE**

"LAAAAATVIAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Estonia's scream was the only sound in an otherwise completely silent meeting room.

Said nation was quaking viciously and cursing his own honesty(albeit in his mind), painfully aware of all the eyes that rested on him. Nobody could believe – or wanted to – their ears. I mean, really, Latvia? Real smooth there. Russia himself – the perpetrator of the whole situation – was gaping at him, quite certainly at a loss.

Francis grinned and stood up. "I do believe that _mon_ _cher_ _Russie_ had no idea what his pet phrase meant all this this time, oui?" He drawled, drawing closer to Ivan – who was still looking as if he had woken up next to Natalya (or maybe not. That situation would probably involve a lot more tears and some running, not to mention a Yandere smaller sister who – thankfully – was nowhere in sight.) - and purred- no one knew – or cared – how he had managed (to overcome his fear enough ) to put his arm around the taller man's waist, but an Invisible...Someone... and a tsundere Arthur fervently hoped and prayed that he wouldn't be in the Hospital too long ( Arthur since Hospital for Francis meant no action for him, NOT that he cared about that and certainly not about the Frog, because he was a Frog. A sexy, easy to fall in love with Frog, but noenetheless a Frog. And he did **not** just say that thing about the L-word, so you did not hear it. **You.** **Did**. _**Not**_!)but that was just for a moment, then Arthur thought that maybe it was just as well, since if Francis escaped with his life, Arthur would make him pay for looking at other men. And wrapping himself around them. N-Not that he cared, but no one should be molested by that Frenchman. Yes, that was definitely right. That sounded gentlemanly.

And that scenario, friends, would obviously involve a lot more blood than Russia could ever give someone. You do not cross the Invincible English Gentleman if you do not want to get your ass kicked to the Moon.

(cough the Authoress is pretty sure that that is the real story of how Alfred won the Sapce Race – he got his ass kicked to the moon by Arthur. Literally.

And yeah, that is a totally plausible theory...kolkolkolkol)

"Shall I show you, Russie?"

Everyone in the room closed their eyes – well, not really – but it was only the morbid curiosity that makes public hangings had such massive turn-outs way back in ...sometime or the other...that made them keep their eyes open – and waited for the sound of a French body crashing through the sixth-floor window.

The crash came, yes, but not from the quarters they had expected.

" STAY AWAY FROM MY IVAN!" Alfred roared, in full Hero cum Protect Poor Vanya Mode, jumping up on the table with his hands on his waist and one feet on Arthur's papers( who was still too busy staring at Alfred, his mouth hanging open, to do anything than move his mouth in a silent scream of "Bloody Git wanker!") and Ludwig's notes( shocked too, but still having the presence of mind to nonetheless sweep his notes from under the Idiot, making him fall flat on his face and into Liechtenstein's lap. Even Switzerland was shocked enough that he did not fire but only waved the gun in a threatening motion.)

"What do you mean ;yours' aru~?" the usually reserved and quiet (bored and really too mature for these young nations' antics) Chinese nation burst out. " Vanya and I share a History! We are meant to be aru~"

"No way! The Villain always ends up with the Hero!"

"Don't tell me thats why he went through with the whole Cold War deal..." a sighing but not reall surprised (HELLO! She watched Kiku's anime dammit! She had guessed it long ago!" Rimea(1) muttered, earning a disgusted look from Taiwan and Elizabeta, sitting on her either side. "This is how we taught you?" Taiwan said, her eyes almost tearing up.

"It took you this long to figure that little bit out?" Elizabeta looked rather disappointed, too.

"Well excuse Me! I am not a member of your Yaoi Club!" Rimea muttered, puffing her cheeks in mortification.

Francis gave her a sad glance too, having overheard the whole deal (well, the Room was silent!).

"This is what Papa taught you, dear?"

"Hmph..what? You had just one Chandannagore...one town! That too went to West Bengal during the Partition. You are not my Papa! And neither is Arthrur, damn it! I am probably older than both of you!"

Rimea burst out. The colonisation was a sensitive point with her, and though she was usually rather friendly with Francis, damn him if he brought that particular time period up again!

Yao jumped up too (though not on the table). "You tricked poor Vanya!" he screamed

"Tea sucker!" Alfred said, obviously failing to find a better insult at such a short notice.

"You owe me millions aru~ This is how show me gratefulness aru~?""I don't mix my Personal life with my Proffessional one!" Alfred retorted, having heard that very line last night in one of his movies. Who said Hollywood was not educational?

Nobody noticed how France had managed to shed all his clothes until Prussia's scream.

"LEAVE HIM FRANZ!"

Everyone – excluding the three arguing nations – turned to gape at the silver-haired nation, falling into a stunned silence.

Actually, scratch that. They already _were_ in a stunned silence anyway.

Prussia.

Konigreich Preussen was talking sense into someone? As in, talking sense?

"He's too awesome for anyone but me." he finished with a victorious smirk on his face. Everyone simultaneously sighed with relief. Nah. Prussia was still his own self-destructive self.

"My blade shall not spare you, Gilbert-san! America-kun!" Kiku hissed, drawing all eyes to himself. Obviously the Nations were in for more surprise than they had – or wanted to – ever expect(ed).

"You GUYS!" Everyone whipped their heads to the direction the scream seemed to come from, giving themselves whiplash in the process. Alfred whimpered something about a ghost and how Ivan should protect him because Alfred was Ivan's hero, making Yao scowl and Kiku grip his already unsheathed Katana tighter. "who..."

Canada did not bother to reply. Forgetting him was not so nice either!

"Papa, leave Ivan alone. Gil, you are my best friend but I am sorry that I can not allow this. And Al, you asshole, you are my brother but since you are also a pain in my neck.."

Alfred, recognising the signs of his brother starting to go all Passive Aggressive on him – and the Nations in the Room in general – whimpered and begged Ivan to save him (again), drawing more furious scowls from Yao and an even tighter grip from Kiku.

But he was a Hero, so he had to try! He could not give up so soon! Especially with Ivan watching.

...Damn, Alfred, your Hero complex will kill you one day...

...maybe in the form of Matthew and Kiku. And/or Natalya, if the two did not get to you first.

Matthew continued in full rant mode, not noticing Alfred's whimper of "But Mattie! The Cold War!"

"If you use the Cold War, I can use the Winter War!" Tino screamed, jumping up on Berwald's lap to make himself taller than the others. He never noticed the yelp of pain Berwald gave. Berwald had definitely fantasised about Tino and those fantasies may or may not have contained him in a spiky boot, but he sure as hell had never fantasised about getting his privates crushed by those boots.

But it seemed like Tino did not understand that. In fact, he seemed to be quite ignorant of his feelings in all, and ...them.

The thought made Berwald sad, resulting in him scaring the countries who – as of yet – had remained unscared by Canada's out of character rant.

If this farce continued any longer, Vash would shoot the room down. Not only was he having to (try to) calm a frantic and hysterical Liechtenstein, he was also having to put up with the fact that Prussia. Liked. Someone. Else.

...maybe his screams of "Vanechka~" last night should have tipped vash off?

He was now going to personally see Gilbert into a Hospital. Possibly in Switzerland, so he could send him flowers...

….maybe with explosives hidden in them.

While Vash was working out how to fix an explosive in a bouquet of red roses and send it through the Hospital( would the Hospital have scanners? What kind of security should he expect?), he fancied he heard Kiku going ballistic and starting to scream something about Russo-Japanese War, but that could wait.

All this time, Toris had been fidgeting in his seat. Finally he got the courage to mumble "R-Russia-san, I-I...". This obviously did not sit well with Feliks, who promptly slugged him and dragged him under the table, hissing "Are you, like, totally mad or what, Liet?"

"Stop you all! I claimed him first!" Francis screamed.

"A-a-a-a-ctually I d-d-d-did..." Latvia mumbled from the floor, where he was still crumpled up, not having recovered from the shock of his latest self-destructive bout of bravery (foolishness). Estonia shuddered as he remembered what started the whole altercation in the first place.

Everything was going normally. Everyone was going about their own usual business. France and England were fighting but then teamed up to beat the crap out of Alfred, Roderich was scowling, Berwald was giving his not glare to everybody, Feliciano was trying to feed Ludwig Pasta and Ludwig was obliging after being subjected to Italy's puppy eyes for ten seconds ("Kesese West held out for 10! That's a record! Awesome trying, West!" "Really, you would think he would have become immune by now!" "Really Osterreich, if you think that, obviously you have never been subjected to Ita-chaan's puppy eyes kesese." "They do **not** work on me!" "Erzsbeta's seem to.." At which point Prussia shut up due to an 'accidental' frying pan on his face by Erzsbeta. And yeah, nobody believed it was 'accidental', contrary to Hungary's claim, but they shut up anyway lest they ended up the same way.).

Then Russia loomed up behind Latvia, obviously drunk again. "Become one with Russia, da~?" He asked, smiling wider and scaring the Trembling Trio even more, when Raivis went into Suicidal mode.

"I-I w-w-w-would l-like t-t-t-that..." At this point, his self-destructive courage failed and he fainted, leaving Ivan to gape open-mouthed at him and Edouard screaming "!"

Really, Edouard sometimes wondered if – and when – Raivis would stop being an idiot. His throat felt like it would remain hoarse for the next century, and seeing as that was what he had had to go through for most of the last one, he could tell for sure that he did not fancy it at all.

"QUIET!" Everyone looked at Germany, sighing in relief. Now the nuisance would come to an end FINALLY!

...as he promptly marched up and kissed Ivan bang on the lips.

..Spoken too soon, it seems.

"A-all of you, s-stop!" Toris said, finally shoving Feliks off him, and on Natalya. Everyone ignored Feliks' squeals as he was presumably castrated by Natalya...

..which kinda sorta raises a point. Should he be counted as a 'he' or should he be counted as a 'she'? Could he be castrated? Arthur mused. He really didn't think anyone with half a testicle could actually wear that much of Pink.

"Your unicorns are pink." Flying Mint Bunny pointed out.

"I don't _wear_ them, bloody wanker!" Arthur burst out, getting a few looks. But no one spared him a second one. It was just Arthur again.

"W-we should let R-russia-san decide." Toris finished.

Some people (those whose minds had yet to shut down due to the absurdity of the situation) wondered why Natalya was not castrating all of these men who claimed her Braht yet.

"Because Braht belongs to me no matter who likes him. He loves me and we shall get married married married marriedmarried..." She whispered under her breath, a Yandere grin – much like Ivan's – starting to grow on her face.

Everyone stopped, staring at Ivan. This seemed like a solution...

Ivan opened his mouth...

"UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!"

And promptly fled the room.

...or not.

Ten nations ran out after the white scraf vanishing down the bend of the Hallway, Alfred in lead.

"But I thought the Cold War was Mutual UST!"

**Please Read the following! Has an announcement (and a bribe)**

**A/N:**** WUT? I told you it was a Crackfic! Just had to do this...**

**cough...so, I have a lil announcement! *fail displays of self-importance***

**I have an FB one-shot that I want someone to edit. I mean, not like a Beta-Reader, buit basically I'm too lazy and really. Can't. Seem to borrow coughstealcough the Lappie long enough to do all that Format. I have all the material though^^"" Anyone who would like to help me? I would give you credit and all, I swear! And I will review all your fics (If its in a Fandom I know) too nyoro~**

**(and if you want, I will write you an one-shot with any plot you like if you do not mind my crappy writing?) Someone PLEASE!**

**P.S: HOLY SHIT! Longer than anything I have EVAH written!**

**Oh, and review and I will check up your stories( if it is in a Fandom I know) and return the favour /shot/**

**(Yes...a not so subtle bribe. But people seem to favourite/alert more than reviewing...which I love you for anyway, but it makes me a lil depressed when I see 1 or 2 reviews for my stories. I am an extremely vain person and I suffer from a huge Inferiority Complex which I can not seem to shake off. Review, and make me feel better *puppy eyes*..not to mention I will review yours too ^^""")**

**(And sorry Hawkstra I stole that Review-and-I-will-review-back Idea from you! That idea belongs to Hawkstra and not moi!)**


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